The Unplanned Journey: Embracing Life When It Looks Different Than What You Imagined
If life is looking differently for you than what you imagined, it doesn’t mean that what comes next won’t be great. It’s important to embrace change, even when, and especially if, you’ve always had a clear vision of what you think your future should look like.
Sometimes, your most meticulously developed plans—like the perfect career you always envisioned, “ideal” love and relationships, or a seemingly flawless plan for making money or achieving personal success—can unfold so differently than what you expected. In many cases, your plans may not come to fruition at all. That image you had in your mind of where you would be at a certain point in your life or at a certain age can turn out to be drastically different. Clinging too hard to ideas, wants, expectations, or life plans can send many people into emotional crises. This does not mean that you shouldn’t be persistent, dream, work hard, and push through failure and barriers. Embracing the direction your life takes is about putting forth effort, going after what you want with all your energy and devotion, but then demonstrating acceptance and resilience if it’s clear that your path is leading you elsewhere. Today, we’re going to discuss a few ways you can embrace the beauty in a life that doesn’t necessarily go according to your plans.
Tuning out “the noise.”
This tip is first for a reason because “the noise” is often a primary interference when it comes to accepting the direction your life takes and allowing yourself to embrace change. “The noise” can be a lot of different entities—society, strangers, co-workers, employers, the media, or even family members and loved ones. It’s the people or institutions that tell you that there’s a timeline you should be following and insist that if you don’t fall in line with the rest, you’re a failure or otherwise “less than” others. Often, these timelines are highly restricting and are measured by factors like your age, your gender, where you come from, or what other people think of you. Remember that happiness or success looks differently for everyone. If it would look the same for everyone, then it likely would make most of us extremely unhappy! If you can let go of rigid expectations that you may feel pressured to adopt for yourself, you will open yourself up to a life full of possibility.
Letting go of what you thought was the “right” or “ideal” plan for your life.
Embracing a life that doesn’t go as planned doesn’t mean we should minimize how difficult this can be for many, if not most, people. It can be very discouraging and even frightening to face the reality that life isn’t going as you envisioned. This scenario can often involve crushed dreams, profound loss, and demoralizing failures. However, once we grieve, acceptance, letting go and moving on is the only way forward. Have faith that when life looks so drastically different from what you imagined for yourself, it is because you will be going in a direction that will bring even greater opportunities and experiences. Uncertainty is undoubtedly overwhelming, but it offers us immense opportunity to reassess our lives, reframe the way we see things, and explore new paths.
Finding meaning when you have to accept the most difficult outcomes.
If you find that you’re struggling to accept and move forward, or if you’re still in the grieving process, there’s one way you can get through the tough emotions, the anxiety, or the depression associated with life looking differently from what you imagined. For instance, for many people, grieving the loss of the life you wanted brings them closer to their religion or spirituality. Others reach out to loved ones and nurture relationships that have grown distant. Many will develop greater empathy for others and feel a pull to help others when they themselves feel emotionally vulnerable. When things don’t go according to plan, you might find that you develop a sudden laser-focus on what truly matters to you and on the things that are the most important in life. All the superficial or unimportant things you used to stress about take a back seat. The shifts in your life may initially be confusing and hard, but they will often bring you fresh perspectives, gratitude, and a deeper appreciation for your life.
Remember that an “ideal,” “perfect,” or “successful” life comes in many forms. Embrace the changes, the twists and turns, and even the uncertainty. If fear or sadness seem to take over, remind yourself that this different path didn’t appear in your life to lead you astray. Believe that it’s actually the opposite circumstance that’s unfolding. Life might not follow the original script you created, but your story will still be beautiful and often far more amazing than you could have ever planned for yourself. The unplanned journey is always the best one.